Cheap Therapy

I call it cheap therapy. That gushing, near-religious, poured-from-the-body stress release that comes after writing my heart out for hours each day, delivers more balm to my soul than years of psychoanalysis.

There were eight of them. Eight family members and friends died in five short years. I was a neophyte in this death thing. This clamping-down-on-your-heart, ripping-a-hole-in-your-soul, death thing. It stunk. Badly. I was forty-three when my grandmother died. It floored me. The shock that it could really happen, that they could actually leave me, was overwhelming.

The guilt that had ridden hard on my back for the past twenty years came at me with a rush. I should have visited more. Called more. Written more. But the three baby daughters that we'd had in two years had consumed every ounce of our energy. We'd fallen into bed each night exhausted, and had awakened tired, but happy, each morning. The thought of a ten-hour trip home had seemed insurmountable with three little ones in car seats and diapers. So we put off the visits home for a long, long time.

The next death came in a single, whooshing blow. My colleague at work, with whom I'd shared an office for eight wonderful years, died suddenly of a heart attack. Then my father-in-law, my grandfather, and so on. I struggled to make sense of it. People were disappearing rapidly.

And then it happened. My father was diagnosed with cancer in the same month that his mother died of Alzheimer's Disease. We had a summer of hope. And then the disease hit again, and he was gone. Gone for good. Gone for real. In six short months, he was diagnosed, treated, and then he disappeared.

I was crushed. Completely shattered. This was bad. The worst.

I walked a lot. I trudged through the autumn woods, as the crispy leaves eddied around my feet. I heard his voice whispering in the breeze. The need to write was insistent. Urgent.

The pieces were gaudy and full of redolent poetry. The words painted my grief. Each time I walked and mourned, I'd return home and write. Again. And again. And again.

Getting the words on paper was a salve for my battered soul. Although I'd always known I would write a mystery series someday, I'd thought it would be when the kids were grown and I had retired.

Then it hit me. I would write a testimony to my father. I'd model my protagonist after Dad. I began to write Double Fort?. My hero was a music professor, like Dad. He gardened with a passion, like Dad. He embraced the arts, like Dad. And he assiduously tended to his musical spirit, like Dad. He played Chopin etudes with wild abandon to clear his mind and feed his soul. And he cooked magnificent feasts for his family from his gardens that burgeoned with exotic vegetables.

As the book began to take shape, so did the characters. Gus LeGarde's secretary, Maddy, became the reincarnation of my Grandma Lena. Oscar and Millie Stone were near replicas of my maternal grandparents. I found comfort in the creation of the scenes that included them. And as the process of writing one book became easier, the next, and the next, and the next flowed effortlessly from my fingertips until I stopped to breathe. I created eight full novels in five short years.

As this healing process provides me with therapy, it also affords an escape to a parallel universe where I control my characters' destiny. I like it. A lot. I invent the bad guys, neatly dispatch them, rescue my hero from certain death, and cement the intricate relationships between my cast members.

This remarkable outlet allows the creative juices to flow and provides a safe haven for my imagination to flourish. I'm hooked, big time. There's no stemming the tide. I fight for time to write, feeling cheated if I don't get my daily "fix." And when the latest chapter is keyed in, or the monthly essay penned, a deep sigh of relief is expelled. I'm freed. I'm sated. I'm going to be okay.

Yep. I'm going to be just fine. And best of all, there's no co-payment.

Aaron Paul Lazar resides in Upstate New York with his wife, three daughters, two grandsons, mother-in- law, two dogs, and three cats. After writing in the early morning hours, he works as an electrophotographic engineer at NexPress Solutions Inc., part of Kodak's Graphic Communications Group, in Rochester, New York. Additional passions include vegetable, fruit, and flower gardening; preparing large family feasts; photographing his family, gardens, and the breathtakingly beautiful Genesee Valley; cross-country skiing across the rolling hills; playing a distinctly amateur level of piano, and spending "time" with the French Impressionists whenever possible.

Although he adored raising his three delightful daughters, Mr. Lazar finds grandfathering his "two little buddies" to be one of the finest experiences of his life. Double Forte', the first in the series, was published in January 2005. Upstaged, number two, is in production. With eight books under his belt, Mr. Lazar is currently working on the ninth, which features Gus LeGarde and his family. http://www.legardemysteries.com

How to Run a Successful Link Exchange Program

Link Exchanges are a very time consuming project. The time it takes to find the sites to exchange with, contact them and place a link on your page can seem like an eternity. The hardest part about link exchanges isn't the research, it's the waiting. This article will give you some tips to help speed response time to your requests.

"How long does it normally take?" you ask. The average wait can be 2 to 3 weeks, sometimes even longer. The reason for this is that many people operate their web site as a hobby or side business and may not be on top of their email. Keep these timeframes in mind before you judge the successfulness of a link campaign.

The first step is to find sites related to your web site that DO NOT have a large directory of links posted. You want to link to sites that have less than 100 links on their link page. Their Page Rank (PR) should be at least equal to yours. Higher is better, so always aim for the heavy hitters. Now, on to the business of saving you time.

Once you have located a site to contact, send a short but poignant email. If your email is too long, it may not be read. What should be in your email? First of all, your email should be personalized. Don't send the same email to dozens of people, send one at a time. This will help avoid being thought of as a spammer. The personalized touch shows you are serious and that the email was sent by a real person. Nothing says "this is of little importance to me" like a form letter, so avoid using them.

The letter should also include:

The HTML code to your text ad. This will make it easier for people to add your link to their site.

A link to your link page. This will make easier for whom ever you are requesting a link from to find your page.

Also, if they ask for you to link first, do so. If you have already been to their site (and certainly you should have if you are requesting a link), you will more than likely know if they want a good faith link up. The email you send them should have a confirmation that their link is up and that you are requesting a reciprocal link.

Once you make contact with the web site owner, how long will you wait? A week? Two weeks? Honestly, it may be a month before you see your link unless you show some persistence. It doesn't always depend on how often they do updates. I would contact them once a week after your initial inquiry after checking their site first. They may have placed a link up without notifying you.

So, in summary:

Spend time finding sites that will be an asset to your enterprise to save time by not corresponding with those that won't.

Succinct, personalized E-mails

Include all coding and links necessary to make it easy on the site you want to exchange with

Research their link policy ahead of time

Be persistent

Link exchanges are very time consuming. It takes patients and great recorded keeping to keep track of who has and has not added you. I do this with an excel spread sheet. It makes keeping track a lot easier to do. Especially, if you are doing large link campaigns.

Good luck.

For more information on SEO visit http://mr-seo.blogspot.com Or, http://mrseonewz.blogspot.com/ for the latest on SEO news. For a free web site evaluation visit http://www.mr-seo.com

Anamchara - Meeting With The Master

His name sounds as Finn. He has beautiful blue eyes and the blondest of blond hair. He shares his name with Fionn Mac Cumhail. This is frequently anglicised as Finn Mac Cool. Finn Mac Cool is one of the most celebrated heroes in Irish myth.

Little Finn will be tall and beautiful. Now he is small and beautiful. He is learning to talk. He is learning to put distance between his immediacy. There will be a time when he thinks about his life rather than allow it to flow. He will learn to dance rather than be the dance.

Being around children reminds me that they feel their experience moment to moment. When they look they see what is before them. They do not judge their experience. They are their experience. This is why they are so delightful even if sometimes they behave as if this world belonged to them and them alone. They know this world belongs to them until they are told differently. This is their real understanding of this world. It is we who have forgotten. They are there to help us remember.

I am standing at the edge of Lough Allen. I have come to visit Corry Strand.

This is where I meet this giant among toddlers. My partner Barbara has met this child before. His Mum had come to hear a concert or play at the Glen Centre in Manorhamilton. While Mum watched the play Barbara minded child. When he became fractious and upset she walked him down the main street. She held him close in her arms and sang Gershwin. He settled at the sound of this melody sang softly into his shell like ear.

He quickly learned my name. He quickly gave me the gift of his trusting heart. It came as a delightful surprise to find him placing his little hand in mine. He had decided he and I would take a stroll along the sand. We walked and came to sit by the remains of a campfire. He told me stories. These were one-word stories.

These were one word stories facilitated by finger pointing. He reminded me of the old Zen Master who tells his student "I am only the finger pointing at the moon." Here is my little Zen master teaching me the simplicity of seeing.

One story is "stone." The other story is "dog." Each is direct and immediate. There is no sense of fear. There is only the continued pointing of the finger. He makes the stones come alive. He sees them before ever they have labels.

Too soon there will come a time when he lives in labels. Too soon he will think he knows what a "stone" is. Soon he will forget how he once saw the wonder of that "stone" and that "dog." He will swap wonder for knowledge. He will swap what is partial for what is holy. He will become a rational person rather than the mysterious little being he is.

He reminds me of Yoda in Star Wars. The force is with him. He is a wise little being with a hand that shows art in every gesture. He shows me the gladness of the ever-present moment. He is selfish as all children are. This is their world. However, they love to share it with you. This world is their playground and they want you to play here too.

On this shore of Lough Allen he reminds me of that other shore. This is the one we seekers long to sail for. It takes us to that timeless shore where we are forever young. My work is to do what Finn does best. I spend time patiently allowing myself to enter this mystery of life. He is still held within it. I am the amateur and he is the pro-fessional of presence.

He is a fount of wisdom. He does not have the words. He only has his finger. He uses this to conduct dialogues with this mystery of life. He allows the music of life to play through his little body. I am only a part of the orchestra and too often I feel apart from the music. He plays all parts expertly and is the music.

Time will be when he will forget he is the play of God. Time will wrap around him and he will be taught to "do life." He will be taught that life has to be earned. He will be advised that it is more important to earn a living rather than be alive to love. He will be taught his creativity does not fit with economics. He will become productive and competitive rather than celebratory and abundant. He will give up his wondrousness for acceptance.

He will forget that he is forever enough. If he is lucky he will meet with other wise men and women who will tell him to "risk all for love." He will forget that love is all he needs. He will turn from love in action to love of activity. His is the fall from the grace of being to the non-grace of persona. We are all destined to fall from this grace. He will be loved but he will feel separate from all that is.

When he is older he will, I hope, take another hand. He will stand on another shore. He will remember to look at the beauty of what is without labels. He will no longer see it the way that we lost in social consciousness see it. He will, I hope, one day see again via his heart. The way he sees now. When this happens he will be a giant among men. He will be Finn. He will be fair of face and fair of hair.

Thank you Finn for your instruction. I am blessed to have shared your wisdom. You are already a giant among men. You are a child of the Universe. Never forget little one. May the force be forever with you and may you stay forever young in that little heart that you are so ready to share.

? Tony Cuckson 2004

Tony Cuckson is an Anam Cara. This Celtic term means "Soul Friend." He specializes in providing insight for the spiritual journey, Blessings for YOU, words of wisdom and finding inner peace. Visitors to Irish Blessings Matter website and Tony's Blog get the opportunity to develop a purpose driven life through articles, newsletters and other programs.

Get your free report called "7 ways to it's a wonderful life" at http://www.irishblessingsmatter.com/, or go to Tony`s Blog at http://www.irishblessingsmatter.info/ for YOU Blog, where you will find links to information related to spiritual parenting, spiritual coaching and spirit in business.

Sharpening Your Sales Skills

Making a living in sales can be very rewarding, however, it can also be tough at times. That is why it is very important to stay on top of your game at all times.

Making a sale doesn't happen by accident or by luck, the sale is made because the person doing the selling has done a good job of explaining and representing their products.

Here are a few activities that will help you and your co-workers keep your sales skills sharp at all times.

Roll Playing

I know this sounds corny, but it really does work, and it puts everyone in the office in a good mood, because of all the laughs you will receive.

Make up a few fake, but realistic sales scenarios for you and a fellow co-worker to act out. Take turns playing the customer and the sales person. Repeat the scenario several times until you become comfortable with it. If at all possible, find a third person to observe and critique your mach sales sessions. If this is not possible, than critique each other.

Current Events

During each of your sales presentations with a potential customer, there should be some sort of small talk, or what you would call a relax period, where you relax your customer by discussing something other than your business and the product you are about to sell.

The weather is the most obvious thing to talk about, but it is a very boring subject and comes across fake, because everybody brings up the weather when they don't have anything else to talk about.

Every day, in the morning, decide on a current event that you will bring up when making small talk with your potential customers; Such as a major news event or a major sporting event that is happening.

This way you will be prepared and won't run into any snags in your conversation.

Shaking hands

Get into the habit of shaking hands. Every time you meet a potential customer, shake their hand. Most of us are comfortable with shaking hands, but for those of you who are not, here is a tip to help you reach a comfort level.

Each day that you walk into your office, shake the hands of your co-workers that are closest to you. Seriously, every morning, go in, look them in the eye, greet them by name, and shake their hand. They may look at you as though you are nuts at first, but explain to them that it is simply an exercise. Trust me they will get a kick out of it, and will respond with enthusiasm.

Remember, people don't want to be treated as statistics, they wanted to be treated as people, so treat them that way. Shake their hand, look them in the eye, talk about things other than business, and use their name as often as possible.

By keeping your sales skills sharp, you will ultimately be keeping your sales up. Good luck!

Jay Conners has more than fifteen years of experience in the banking and Mortgage Industry, He is the owner of http://www.jconners.com, a mortgage resource site, he is also the owner of http://www.callprospect.com, a mortgage lead company.

Advertising Click Fraud Rampant Online?

"Pay-per-click," by far the most popular form of online advertising, recently came under fire as charges of rampant "click fraud" gather steam on the Web.

Google and Yahoo! earn the majority of their money through sales of advertising to tens-of-thousands of online merchants, companies, and professional.

In fact, some estimate that 99% of all Google's revenue comes from advertising sales. Unfortunately, allegations of click fraud may well rain on Google's otherwise sunny parade and cause a whole scale revamping of current online advertising practices.

Pay-per-click advertising does exactly what it sounds: advertisers pay for each click on their ad, usually mixed in among search engine results or displayed on relevant websites.

"Click fraud" occurs when, for whatever reason, an ad gets clicked by someone or something (usually an automated "bot" that simulates clicks) with no intention of ever buying anything from the advertiser.

The sole intention of click fraud is to simply drain an advertiser's budget and leave them with nothing to show but an empty wallet.

Who commits click fraud?

Usually an unscrupulous competitor who wants to break a rival's bank, online "vandals" who get their kicks causing other people grief, or search engine advertising affiliates who want to earn fat commissions by racking up piles of bogus clicks.

Regardless of who does it or why, click fraud appears to be a growing problem search engines hope stays under their advertising clients' radar.

This problem isn't exactly news to the search engine giants.

In fact, on page 60 of their 3rd quarter Report for 2004, Google admits that they have "regularly refunded revenue" to advertisers that was "attributed to click-through fraud."

Google further states that if they don't find a way to deal with this problem "these types of fraudulent activities could hurt our brand."

Bottom line for Google and Yahoo! (which owns Overture, the Web's largest pay-per-click search engine): as word of click fraud spreads across the Web, they must act quickly to calm the nerves of advertisers who could well abandon them over doubts about the veracity of their advertising charges.

The search engines all claim to carry measures that identify and detect click fraud, but details about how they do it and to what extent remain sketchy.

They claim revealing details about security would compromise their efforts and give the perpetrators a leg up on circumventing their defenses.

This sounds good, but affords little comfort to advertisers who feel caught between losing out on their best traffic sources and paying for advertising that won't result in revenue.

One way to protect your business against click fraud is to closely monitor your website statistics.

Look for an unusually high number or regular pattern of clicks from the same IP address.

If you need help, enlist the aid of your hosting provider to aid you in spotting suspicious trends in your website traffic.

Also, a number of services such as ClickSentinel.com have sprung up online to help advertisers spot and quickly analyze and compile the data necessary to effectively dispute fraudulent click charges with the search engines.

About the Author:

Jim Edwards is a syndicated newspaper columnist and the co-author of an amazing new ebook that will teach you how to use fr^e articles to quickly drive thousands of targeted visitors to your website or affiliate links...

Simple "Traffic Machine" brings Thousands of NEW visitors to your website for weeks, even months... without spending a dime on advertising! ==> http://www.turnwordsintotraffic.com

Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Children

How do we deal with our seriously distressed children and adolescents?

Adolescents are in a period of seeking autonomy and self-determination. These qualities can aid them in becoming agents of active transformation in their own lives. For one to recover from distress they are in need of being able to regain hope and to have an effective exercise of their free will. (Breggin, 1996). Adolescents based on their experiences formulate thoughts and feelings and begin to create values and meanings for themselves.

Those adolescents who are suffering from serious emotional distress have become lost on this path to finding meaning in their lives. Once this occurs, they begin to develop anguish and self-defeating responses to life. This creates in them anxiety and despair leading towards what some would call 'madness' (Breggin, 1991). These adolescents must learn to feel empowered once again, and not to feel labeled as an 'it', not to be viewed through the lens of their particular diagnosis and categorization they have been ascribed. These adolescents need coaches and individuals who will aid them compassionately and empathetically in navigating and negotiating through life's stresses.

The therapist and others must look upon the distressed adolescent with dignity. To look upon the adolescent through 'scientific' or 'objective' means leads us to the tendency to diagnosis and control the person, to impose our own abstract and potentially oppressive category upon them and to manipulate the outcome.

Physical interventions, such as psychotropic drugs, restraints, and enforced confinement to mental hospitals or residential treatment facilities are a part of this desire to control rather than truly aid and come to an understanding of the distress the adolescent is experiencing (Breggin and Breggin, 1993, a&b). Psychotropic medications with these seriously distressed individuals only deal with symptoms, they blunt certain functions to make the person more tolerable and amenable to societal expectations. Psychotherapy, on the other hand, focuses on the subjective changes in patient's feelings and on actual changes in lifestyle or conduct of life (Fisher & Greenberg, 1989).

Based on the viewpoints of biopsychiatry, adolescents who are medicated and placed in mental hospitals are labeled as improved when they conform to hospital demands or receive discharge. However, what is not examined is, how do the patients themselves actually feel? An estimated 180,000 to 300,000 young people a year are placed in private psychiatric facilities. These children and adolescents often feel powerless in these placements. But as mentioned above, it is the need for feelings of empowerment and hope that will lead to a genuine recovery from distress. Psychologist D.L. Rosenhan lead a study where 'pseudopatients' had themselves admitted to psychiatric hospitals to experience them first hand and report on this experience. Rosenhan reported in an article appearing in the January 19, 1973 issue of Science, "Powerlessness was evident everywhere?He is shorn of credibility by virtue of his psychiatric label.

His freedom of movement is restricted. He cannot initiate contact with staff, but may only respond to overtures as they make. Personal privacy is minimal?" With children and adolescents it is easier to rationalize away their rights and control becomes more arbitrary and complete (Breggin, 1991). Psychiatrist Peter Breggin states that in such an environment 'it is hard for a child to resist feeling spiritually crushed, abandoned, and worthless under such conditions. With a less formed sense of self than an adult has, a child is less able to resist the shame attached to being diagnosed and labeled a 'mental patient'. Children may also find it much harder to conform to institutional life.

They are naturally energetic, rambunctious, at times strident, often noisy, and resistant to control. If a boy doesn't conform, he is considered 'ill' and can be subjected to physical restraints, solitary confinement, and toxic drugs. (Breggin, 1991). It should be mentioned that the drugs commonly used for severely distressed adolescents are the same as those used for adults, most frequently the neuroleptics. These medications are reported to cause lack of energy, painful emotions, motor impairment, cognitive dysfunction and tend to 'blunt; the personality of the treated patients as well as having a risk for the development of tardive dyskinesia, a permanent and debilitating neurological problem (Gualteri and Barnhill, 1988).

These drugs subdue the adolescent into conformity by blunting the brain, but never do they teach the child how to develop meaning, how to cope, nor do they allow the adolescent to express his pain and emotional distress that is within. The adolescent is merely sedated to make his behaviors more manageable to adults. The adolescent learns nothing. The adolescents who are suffering from severe emotional distress are in conflict. They have internalized feelings of guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, and numbing. These adolescents instead of coercive and intrusive 'treatments' need the ability to find a safe place where coercive power is replaced by reason, love, and mutual attempts to satisfy their basic needs. These adolescents because of their distress have broken away from the accepted realities, they have sought to recreate their existence, for some a more primitive existence (Schilder, 1952). The feelings of anxiety that an adolescent may experience are linked to a fear of being and belonging (Stern, 1996, pg. 12) Depression, mania, and anxiety are all linked together and are indicative of trauma.

The adolescent being a shattered person seeks an escape by altered perception. We must begin to realize that all behaviors and experiences have meaning, even those things that may appear the most 'odd' to us. The symptoms labeled to be schizophrenic exhibited by certain adolescents in distress 'may be understood as manifestations of chronic terror or defense against the terror (Karon, 1996). This is often expressed as anger, loneliness, and humiliation. The therapist and others must convey to the adolescent that he wants to understand, that the client is helpable, but it will take hard work (Karon, 1996). The therapist must forge an alliance with the adolescent, aiding them to understand the real dangers and to be able to develop appropriate coping mechanisms. These adolescents are often viewed as dangerous themselves but the majority are not. They need to be hard, and forging this alliance will give them the needed voice leading to their recovery.

Hallucinations that are experienced by the seriously distressed adolescent are actually repressed thoughts and feelings coming outward, the unconscious into the conscious. Delusions are the adolescent transferring experiences from their past without having the awareness that it is past (Karon, 1996, pg. 36). The therapist can guide in interpreting the meaning of these hallucinations and delusions and once the adolescent is gently approached with their underlying meaning, these events can dissipate. Delusions are also connected with an attempt to find a systematic explanation of our world, to find meaning. A person who has experienced severe distress has lost this meaning and thus develops unusual ways of seeking to make sense of their experiences and the world around them (Karon, 1996, pg. 38).

The therapist can gently call the adolescent's attention to inconsistencies but at the same time respect their vision. The results of a psychosocial approach to those with severe emotional distress has been proven to be more effective than the current biopsychiatric methods as evidenced by a study by Loren Mosher, MD where he took schizophrenic adults who were on either very low doses or no medication, and offered them a 'safe place' with non professional staff residing with them and sharing in their daily experiences.

A 2 year follow up of these patients noted higher levels of success and progress than their counterparts who were subjected to neuroleptics and psychiatric hospitalization (Mosher, 1996, pg. 53) The model known as the Soteria project was based on principles of growth, development, and learning. All facets of the distressed person's experience were treated by the staff as 'real' (Mosher, 1996, pg. 49)

Limits were set and mutual agreements made with the patients if they presented as a danger to themselves or others. Such a model could be adapted to use with adolescents, offering them the need for compassion, empathy, and finding that 'safe' place, restoring within themselves a feeling of worth and dignity, that will lead to their ability to address the issues of their distress and traverse towards recovery.

Dan L. Edmunds is a graduate of the University of Florida. he completed his graduate studies at the University of Scranton. He is currently pursuing Doctoral level studies at Argosy University with concentration in Pastoral Community Counseling. Dan is employed as a Behavioral Specialist Consultant and Mobile Therapist for a private agency in Northeastern Pennsylvania and is President of the Rose Garden Children's Foundation, a non profit 501 (c)(3) organization.

Mind Altering

"It's a chemical imbalance." I've heard those words so many times in the last decade, it's becoming routine for Doctors to blame everything on it.

Have you been listening to the News, the talk shows, the media, and other people lately. It's pathetic. I am not a doctor, or scientist of any kind. I am just an ordinary man just listening. I guess that would make me a shrink, right? Nope, I not that either.

Now, I grew up in a house where mother took prescription drugs by the handfuls. She had 3 doctors, 2 or 3 pharmacist, and naturally she smoked 3 packs of cigarettes per day.

Some doctors gave her uppers while some gave her downers. Some gave her "in-between-ers". No, that was a joke. She took diet pills and she took blood pressure pills. She had asthma and bronchitis. If you read any of my stories in the past, you know the doctor told her that she needed to start smoking to build her lung up since one of them was taken out. I don't need to go into that here.

You wonder where I am going. It appears that every doctor around is selling mind altering drugs. I want a full explanation to what "Chemical Imbalance" is. If it's a vitamin deficiency then shouldn't we give the person a banana instead of a liver killing pill?

I was diagnosed as having arthritis in the lower back. I told the doctor, lets cure it. He said, there is no cure. We can treat it. But you may as well get used to it.

Bull S___. I'm not going to get used to it. Treat it! What he means is, you can pay me every month and become a permanent customer. No way. The only way that'll happen is if I bow down to that crap.

Guess what happened next? I showed signs of depression. Now why on earth would I be depressed. All this time I thought I was out of shape and now I find out that I have some sort of incurable disease! Should that make me happy? Of course not. I bet you know what the doctor did. You got it.

He started writing a prescription for depression. I'm wondering about the arthritis and he writing a prescription for my head. Something is totally wrong here.

I have a little experience with this mind altering crap. Most likely, I am wrong according to all the pen writing legal drug dealers. You must keep in mind throughout this whole story that this is just my opinion. "Nothing more!" I have no intentions to sway any person away from the advice of their doctors. It's not my fault they still need practice.

My kid Lewis was 7 years old and started 2nd grade. Boy was he happy. He was like a wild horse. The teacher couldn't get him to pay attention to her in class so instead of letting him go out and burn that energy up, she punishes him by making him sit in the room while everyone else goes out and plays. Later, she convinces my part time wife that my son Lewis belongs on ridlin. The once happy boy turned into a Zombie. That was 17 years ago. He's also been in jail since the age of 15. I wonder if turning him onto drugs at an early age did anything to him.

Shoot, no wonder our kids are fatter than we want them to be. We are not happy when they are running so we shoot em full of drugs to slow them down. Why not run them. More exercise would have done Lewis better than sitting him in a corner.

Oh yeah, I know, those doctors have been trained. Trained at what? To collect money, keep your kids sick so that they have a never ending supply of patients. In my opinion, the doctors have too many patients. Half the time, you sit out in the waiting room for an hour after your appointment and then they call you to wait another 30 minutes in a closed room.

Yes, I do believe there is a cure for cancer, arthritis, colds, and other things. I just don't believe they are through using the term PRACTICE here in the US. Now don't get me wrong. I am an American and proud of it. I just ain't to proud of our government right now. Maybe I should be attacking the FDA or whatever they call their selves.

Is it all about the money? Is everything about Lies?

I read somewhere that we are living longer now than we did a hundred years ago. If this is true, are we feeling better or are we living longer with PAIN? I don't know about you but it seems like every time you turn around someone tells you they are bi-polar. Geesh!

Who knows, I may be bi-polar too according to the definition. However it fits my marriage better. My marriage has been bi-polar for years. I may have even had ADD or whatever. I remember going to a superman movie and dreaming that I was superman and I could not pay attention in class. To be quite honest, I don't pay much attention now. It's called being bored.

With what I have learned, some doctors call it a chemical imbalance while others call it a vitamin deficiency. Maybe they are not the same. Maybe they are.

Copyright 2005 Randy Stafford

Randall Stafford has been working writing articles since January 2004 and has been online since 1994. His web site can be seen at http://www.randallsquare.com

Five Things To Check Out When You Apply For a Payday Loan

Are you thinking of going in for a payday loan to meet an unexpected expense? If so, look into these five things before you finalize one. This checklist can help you make smarter choices. You might even end up saving some serious cash!

First thing to consider -- do you really need that cash advance? Sure, you need cash right away, but have you looked at other options? The fact is, a payday loan is an extremely expensive source of funds, with Annual Percentage Rates (APRs) ranging from 300% to 1000%. So before you take one, see if you can arrange money by taking an advance from your employer or from your credit union.

You could also consider borrowing money from friends or family. Depending on your situation, credit card funding might be an option too, because it's usually cheaper than a payday loan.

Ask yourself how much you can really repay when the next payday rolls around. Work out an exact number you can commit to. Take a cash advance only for the amount you can repay, considering all charges as well. Obtain funds from other sources for any additional requirements you may have.

Here's why. If you choose to roll over all or part of the payday loan, you end up paying much more -- additional charges, late fees, etc. Your APRs start climbing rapidly and you may even find yourself trapped in a vicious cycle of payday loan debt. Stay clear of this trap.

Apply only for one payday loan at a time. Your application gets reported to a consumer tracking database used by payday lenders and banks. If you apply for multiple loans, the lenders may see the multiple applications and you might end up being rejected by all of them.

Go through the lender's approval criteria very carefully. Apply only to one where you can qualify. If you apply to a company that has stringent criteria and get rejected, that can actually hurt your chances of getting approved by another company with more relaxed criteria.

If you're applying online, ask yourself if the lender's website seems professional and well-organized. Do they have clear information and guidelines on the site? A comprehensive FAQ?

Most important -- do they have an SSL certificate on the application page? This indicates data is being transmitted securely. Secure pages have web addresses that begin with "https:" instead of "http:" and in addition, you'll see a lock symbol displayed in your browser. If a lender is using a non-secure page to collect information about you, find another lender!

Acting on the above points will help you make better choices about payday loans. The best solution is, of course, to get your personal finances into excellent shape so that you never need to borrow in an emergency.

About the Author

Prakash Menon is a financial expert and writer specializing in managing personal debt and providing wealth building solutions. He has written on alternatives to payday loans, personal debt management and other topics.

How An Idea Can Lift You

What determines your destiny? What predisposes your choices?

It is your intention.

When you hunt for your dreams, you become a magician. When what is out there emerges from what is in here, you experience joy.

In the privacy of your mind, you can think original, stirring thoughts. You can find what stirs you. When you find what moves you, you can determine the direction in which you wish to go to shape your destiny.

Your days, by default, may lead you down many false roads, roads where you fail to find a sense of purpose, roads where you lose your poise, your balance, and your sense of your own presence.

Yet through an act of stubborn resolve, you can turn everything around for yourself. You can courageously dream up some great purpose that lights the fire in your belly.

Simply through a moment of thoughtfulness, you can find a way to rise above the profane and enter into the sublime.

When your life becomes more than merely surviving and socializing, you let a new spirit emerge from you to pierce the world.

Make lists, then, not of things that need to be done but of things that you never dared to do before.

What fiction can match the romance of creating your own reality?

From the depths of fantasy, you can birth a new reality, substituting the clouds of your limitations for the sun of your aspirations. Armed with a dream, guided by a hidden purpose, moved by a willful intensity, you will find yourself lifted by the wings of some great and noble intention.

Time will pass; events will unfold; but somewhere in that flux, you can find a great premise that will guide you like a lover.

Resource Box

Saleem Rana got his Masters degree in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life

Copyright 2004 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or newsletter. It's a shareware article.

Fashion Tips: 5 Ways To Look Fabulous in White

Do you see white in your future? No, I'm not referring to a wedding but rather your summer wardrobe. Nothing spells summer like white. While the temperature rises you can stay cool and look fantastic in white. White will add impact to your summer wardrobe and will keep you looking fresh and inviting. To get the most from wearing white I have a few suggestions.

1. White reflects light so wherever you wear it you will bring attention. Having said that, if you have any body parts you don't want to appear larger don't accentuate that area by adorning it in white and wearing a dark color next to it. What you can do is wear white from head- to- toe so no particular area has focus. For example, if you have large hips don't wear white bottoms with a dark top because the eye will be drawn to the bottom. Instead, wear a white top and white pants and use accessories to take the focus away from the problem area. Or wear white on top and black on the bottom.

2. Wear black and white combinations with accessories to create impact. Wear a white skirt with a black top, black shoes, white handbag, and a black/white necklace. Handbags and scarves that have a black and white pattern will also bring some pizzazz. Experiment.

3. To change your look, wear white with bright colors such as pink and green. Again, choose accessories that will add interest. A pink or green bag, pink jewelry, pink shoes etc. You can also try 3 color combinations such as pink/black/white green/black/white or red/black/white.

4. Wear white only until the end of the summer season and don't wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride.

5. Wear white T-shirts with jeans and choose a finer fabric to wear with suits for a more professional look. When you wear whites pay attention to your undergarments ? avoid lacy bras ? choose to wear nudes, they will not show under white.

Sheila Dicks is an Image and Wardrobe consultant who helps women learn how to dress to suit their body type and look fabulous. You can reach her at http://www.sheilasfashionsense.com and get the Free Report " 7 Things Your Girlfriends Won't Tell You About Beauty and Fashion".

Good Credit is King, When Qualifying for Mortgage Programs

If you want to purchase a new home or refinance your current mortgage, be sure to check out the wide array of loan programs available. If you have less than excellent or even poor credit, you can still qualify for a loan. If you have outstanding credit, though, you are in the proverbial driver's seat, when it comes to selecting your loan program. Be sure to find a good mortgage consultant, and carefully explain exactly what you need. Here are just a couple of "outside-the-box" programs that come in handy for some people but require excellent credit ratings.

Stated loan programs are designed for a person whose income or assets fluctuate from month to month and year to year. Not many banks offer stated programs. Many people who need stated programs get turned down by not only banks but by inexperienced mortgage brokers who don't understand the breadth of the programs at their fingertips. So, you may have to enlighten them with your own insight by telling them this is the program you need.

Stated programs are for people who may not qualify for a conventional loan, because they do not meet income requirements a lender has. A prime example is someone who does not show all of her income on a W-2 tax return, for one reason or another. This person may make enough money to cover the mortgage payment, but she can't prove she makes it on paper. Lenders like to see two years of W-2 income. This proves to them that you consistently make enough money to pay back the loan. Now, it's important to note that this is a good credit program, and a lender will want someone with at least A-minus credit for approval. Here is where all that work to maintain your spartan credit record is going to pay off.

What the stated loan requires is all standard documents, except income verification. In other words, the loan officer is going to state your income on the application, and no proof is required. Please note that this program is not intended for someone who works at McDonalds to try to state that he makes $200,000 yearly, so he can get approved for a $400,000 loan. It is intended for people, like salesmen, whose income varies or for businessmen, who work on bonuses, which they may not receive until the next year. As long as the income is reasonable for the profession, no underwriter will ever question it. So, if you needed to make 60,000 yearly for approval, but you only show $54,000 on last year's W-2, your mortgage broker can get you a stated income program, and he will simply write $60,00 on the application. Don't worry, the lender won't ask for pay stubs or tax returns. Your credit rating speaks for itself. In other words, the lender sees that you have an excellent payment history on your other debts, so he is willing to take on a bit more risk.

A stated asset program works the same way, and good credit is required for approval in this program, too. Lenders require cash reserves, in order to cover several months of mortgage payments, in the event something goes wrong after the loan closes, like you lose your job or get hurt. This can be a problem for people who have no savings, stocks, or retirement accounts, which are all acceptable forms of reserves. If you fall into this category, you simply ask for a stated asset loan, and the mortgage broker will state enough assets on your loan application to appease the lender.

This seems fraudulent, you might say. It isn't, as long as you follow the guidelines set forth by the lenders. Remember, they created these programs, so they could loan more money. You'll pay, of course, because the lender will hit you with a premium on your rate, because the loan is more of a risk. So, instead of getting a 6% rate, you might get as high as 6.75%, but at least you'll get your loan.

There are many other loan programs that allow you to borrow more of the equity in the house, let's say up to 95% or even 100%, due to a great credit rating. Some programs allow for an improvement on your interest rate.

It's always important to ask your mortgage broker if there is some kind of incentive because you have A or A+ credit. Most lenders allow the mortgage broker to either give you the break in rate, or they'll give it to the broker in a cash commission. Many unscrupulous brokers will never mention the credit bonus to you, and they'll make up to .25% of the loan amount for themselves.

So, if you had a $200,000 loan, and the lender allowed a .25% interest reduction or commission to the broker, and the broker takes it, instead of giving it to you, that mortgage broker would make $500.00 extra dollars, which would be paid by the lender. Of course, if you had received the .25% better rate, your payment would decrease by about $30.00 each month and $360.00 each year. That's nearly $2,000 if you have the loan for five years that you would lose to a greedy mortgage broker. So, always ask for something, due to your excellent credit.

And always remember, with good credit, you are king. And kings always make the rules. Learn more at www.winningthemortgagegame.com

Mark Barnes is author of the wealth-building system, Winning the Mortgage Game and other investment real estate books. He is also a suspense novelist, and his new novel, The League, will thrill both suspense and sports fans. Learn about Mark's wealth-building system and get his free home loan course at http://www.winningthemortgagegame.com. Learn more about The League and read an excerpt at http://www.sportsnovels.com

Execution - A Book Summary

You've got the bright ideas and the smart people, and the market is just ready for you. But why hasn't your business taken off as you predicted? Maybe the problem is in your execution. What does it really take to get a business going? You need the right people combined with realistic strategies to create effective operating procedures. Let Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan tell you how.

A business leader's most important job is the execution of plans, the "detail work," making sure that the staff is getting results. This is the sort of responsibility that cannot be delegated. It is the leader's primary duty to see that every member of the team is carrying out his part of the big plan to ensure the whole company's success. There are no excuses for failure: the market will always be tough. What spells the difference between successes and failures is the ability to execute plans.

Too often, too much intellectualizing and philosophy occurs at the planning level. The leaders are busy with their dreams and plans for success but there is little focus on implementation, thus the promised result is not delivered. The emphasis on execution as an integral part of the business process has not received enough attention in terms of accumulated knowledge and literature.

The Building Blocks of Execution

The Leader's Seven Essential Behaviors

1. Know Your People and Your Business.

2. Insist on Realism.

3. Set Clear Goals and Priorities.

4. Follow Through.

5. Reward the Doers.

6. Expand People's Capabilities through Coaching.

7. Know Yourself.

Creating the Framework for Cultural Change

You can't just institute changes for the sake of shaking things up at your company. Your changes must be geared towards getting results. Be specific: what sort of behavior is acceptable in your company? What's unacceptable? Change must begin at the top-level, to set an example down the line. Don't just expect it to happen either. Reward successful implementation of your plans to instigate change.

The Job No Leader Should Delegate-Having the Right People in the Right Jobs

Hiring the right people is as important as planning ahead; you need people who are not only capable, but also full of potential for growth as your business expands. Take time to focus on your staff, because in effect your business is in their hands. Take time to develop your staff's leadership capabilities so that they can bring results to your plans and visions. Assess individual capabilities and determine if you can further develop your employee through training, coaching and exposure, or if he's better off elsewhere. If you can properly develop your people, you should be able to fill top administrative posts from within. Hire a talented person and she will hire a talented person.

The Processes of Execution

A. Linking People to Strategy and Operations

Break your strategy down into manageable near-, medium- and long-term goals. Determine kinds of skills you need for the upcoming goals and start laying the foundations early. Then design an action plan for each step of your big plan.

B. Developing the Leadership Pipeline Through Continuous Improvement, Succession Depth and Reducing Retention Risk

Meeting your goals depends on the quality of the people you have. Assess today those who can be leaders in the future through the following: The Leadership Assessment Summary, The Continuous Improvement Summary, Succession Depth, and Reducing Retention Risk Analysis.

C. Dealing with Non-performers

Non-performers are people who aren't meeting their established goals. This does not mean that they're unqualified or incapable. It just means they aren't performing at the level required for your company's success. Sometimes you just need to coach a person to get them better acquainted with a job. Sometimes they just need to be transferred to another division or responsibility that's better suited to their capabilities. Other times there's no choice but to let him go. However, do so in a manner that allows the person to keep his dignity.

D. Linking HR to Business Results

The role of the HR department in a company is different now. The HR function must set out to fill the positions that are and will be important as projects and plans progress over the upcoming months-even years. Use the HR division to keep track of your company's top people across the whole organization, to see who can be groomed, or even promoted already, for key positions. HR should not only be able to assess people in their current jobs but also the people below them-if one person is to be promoted, someone should be adequately qualified to fill the upcoming void.

Examine all your strategies and determine the sorts of skills you need for these plans. If you can't develop the right people in time, determine if you need to hire from outside. Identify which jobs are critical, and which ones will be critical down the line. Are they filled with the right people? Monitor also the top positions in the company and spell out criteria for filling them. If there is a sudden vacancy, is there someone you haven't considered who might be more than qualified? If you know your people and their capabilities, filling the vacancy should be a small problem, especially if you've done your job in developing them for leadership.

The Importance of Hows

Even brilliant strategies are bound to fail if not grounded in realities-regarding the competition, the capabilities of the company's own people, the market, the product offerings. When creating strategies, consider not only the current realities of all relevant factors, but also unexpected-if unlikely-turns of events. There must always be backup plans, or at least people who can quickly think up alternative plans to make the best of a botched situation. Adaptability to change should always be a consideration: constantly review your plan to see if it is being executed properly, if current and future steps are still feasible, and if the people in charge are still getting results.

Building the Operating Plan

1. Set the targets: Keep your targets realistic. Base them on track records and histories.

2. Develop action and contingency plans: Study the possible outcomes that might leave the company most vulnerable and base your contingency plan on that. In other words, plan for the worst.

3. Get agreement and closure from all participants: Communicate agreed-upon goals to the people concerned after the meeting, to reiterate your expectations and what they promised to deliver.

Outcomes of the Operations Process

Think carefully: what does your business want to achieve? Think of this vis-?-vis what your company is likely to achieve. Watch how the operations affect your company, especially for the need to reallocate resources. Conduct quarterly reviews to see if you're still on track, who's keeping you there, and if you should even be there in the first place.

By: Regine P. Azurin and Yvette Pantilla Regine Azurin is the President of BusinessSummaries.com, a company that provides business book summaries of the latest bestsellers for busy executives and entrepreneurs.

http://www.bizsum.com "A Lot Of Great Books... Too Little Time To Read" Free Book Summaries Of Latest Bestsellers for Busy Executives and Entrepreneurs

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(c) Copyright 2001- 2005 ,BusinessSummaries.com - Wisdom In A Nutshell

9 Tips for Better Billboards

It is a given that billboard advertising "outdoor" is not a "quick fix". If sales are down, you can't quickly put up a few boards to boost the numbers. You must plan ahead.

Lead time is not short when using outdoor. The best use of boards is for image building and brand awareness.

Billboards are not cost effective for one time only sales or non-repeating special events. Most billboards are sold for a minimum of one month.

Using billboards is akin to TV, it can mean you have "arrived" as a formidable business.Billboards are image builders.

Painted billboards (Paints) are the oldest form of outdoor advertising. Poster Boards (Paper) may be the best known. We have all seen the billboard guy hanging off the ladder with the swirling wallpaper-like panels being pushed into place with the big glue broom.

All the rage now is the use of vinyl on boards. This allows for better color, longer life and very fine graphics. Vinyls are printed with a special printer, not unlike your computer printer (but bigger).

Bulletins are the giant boards you often see along Interstates. They can be as big as 20 x 60 feet.

Here are BIG Mike's 9 Tips for Better Billboard Advertising.

1 Buy at least a 50 showing (meaning 50% of the population will see it at least once a day) and do it every other month. Many times if the board is not sold after your time runs out, it will remain up for free until replaced.

2 Be sure some if not most of the boards you buy are lighted locations.

3 Choose stand alone rather than stacked boards (if you have a choice).

4 Don't let the billboard salesperson select the locations for you.

5 Buy vinyls instead of paper or paint and bleed the graphic off the edge (so it wraps around the back of the board). Makes your ad look even bigger.

6 Keep the concept short and clever. Offer a solution to their problem, entice them with something new. Avoid same ol' same ol'.

7 Use the rule of never more than 8 words and one picture. Remember, most readers will be zooming by in a car or truck.

8 Don't put your picture on the board. Remember the cardinal rule of sales. It's not all about YOU, it's all about THEM.

9 Make outdoor a budget item and plan in advance. Spend most of your time working on the concept and design, 'cause once it's up there, it can't be changed and will been seen by everybody.

For more about advertising get my article "Do Your Radio Ads Work?" Send a blank eMail MailTo:RadioAds@BigIdeasGroup.com

?2005 BIG Mike McDaniel All Rights Reserved Mike@BIGIdeasGroup.com BIG Mike is a Professional Speaker and Small Business Consultant with over 30 years experience, http://BIGIdeasGroup.com

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